I recently spent the day with a good friend of mine, who is also a great mentor. She owns a print shop with her husband, and their business inspires my own endeavors. As I was driving home I thought about how crazy it is that I’ve known them now for nearly 15 years. Time goes by so quickly.
I came to know them through a human interaction I initiated, and I’ve realized that in many instances where I genuinely asked others for help they’ve been life-changing experiences thereafter. I’ll share some of these stories here, and I hope they inspire you to open up possibilities in your life by taking the chance to simply ask someone for help, guidance or to give you a chance.
“Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.”
Winston Churchill
How Does Printing Work?
In college, I had a publishing class where the instructor stressed the importance of building a relationship with a print shop. Printing is complex, and having expert feedback can make all the difference. I didn’t know any printers, but I saw the value and trusted my instructor’s advice, so I made a mental note to find one. (by the way, this instructor also became a great mentor and friend—student tip: get to know your instructors)
As an introvert, cold-calling printers was daunting, but I was determined to grow my freelance design business. I flipped through the yellow pages (yep, back in the day 📒) and found a section for printing. Nervously, I called the first business listed, Printed Impressions. I introduced myself as a student and aspiring freelancer, hoping to build a relationship where I could learn the ins and outs of printing.
The response? An enthusiastic yes. I visited the shop and immediately clicked with them. Over the years, this husband-wife team became my mentors and such great friends, teaching me not only about printing but about running a business. And over great meals at restaurants or their kitchen table, we’ve had deep discussions about navigating life’s ups and downs. I’m so grateful for these conversations.
I could have ignored my instructor’s advice. I could have skipped that phone call. But I didn’t—and it changed my life.
How Do I Grow My Confidence?
During undergrad, I had to attend a business etiquette event for class. After a long workday and facing nearly two hours of traffic, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about the long evening ahead. Sitting in traffic, I made a decision: I was going to make this event worthwhile, even if I didn’t know how yet.
Once the dinner began, I was captivated. The speaker was energetic, funny, and confident, walking between tables and engaging the audience. My expectations flipped.
Inspired by her confidence, I gathered my courage and approached the speaker after the event. I told her how much I admired her poise and asked for advice on building my own confidence. She handed me her business card and said to email her. I did, and to my surprise, we met for coffee. We clicked immediately, and she, a business owner herself, became an incredible mentor, helping me with speaking, business, and confidence.
In exchange for redesigning her website, she gave me invaluable business and life coaching, always challenging me to grow a little more each week. We met nearly every week for a year, and the value I gained went above and beyond the price I would charge for a website. Her generosity was so impacting.
She attended my portfolio show as I neared graduation. And when I was asked to be the commencement speaker for my graduating class, she was the first person I called. (which, if interested, my speech is still online). My confidence journey came full circle when I delivered that speech.
I could have gone through the motions during that night class and zoned out. But I found an opportunity to help me grow as a person—and it changed my life.
How Do I Accomplish My Goals?
When I chose to go to grad school, it wasn’t just about learning for me—it was about personal growth. I had more growing to do, both professionally and personally. In undergrad, I met life-changing mentors, and I knew grad school would offer more of those opportunities.
One day I spent hours deeply thinking about my goals, and I outlined them on post-it notes. The greatest goals I wanted to do at that time were: to create a blog that teaches creative topics (hello BrandRoots), write a book (check), give a TED talk (still striving for this one!), and a key one—I wanted to make a health app inspired by life events.
An email to students from an entrepreneur at U-M caught my attention. Her background in tech and entrepreneurship was inspiring, and I knew I could learn a lot from her. I reached out, and then we met. I shared my messy sticky note boards and asked for guidance in achieving my goals.
She helped me prioritize, and I decided to pursue my app idea. Soon after, she encouraged me to do customer discovery and exhibit my idea at a campus health fair. There, I met a student who became my key teammate. We quickly grew into a five-person team, joined an incubator and won a $10k pitch competition. And that was just the beginning of a startup journey that taught me so much. I also fell in love with the fast-pace work ethic and many gears that startups ran on. I learned more from this endeavor than I ever could in the classroom, and it all started with a nudge to give my idea a try. Knowing my introverted self, I wouldn’t have done it otherwise.
And the serial entrepreneur I reached out to was supporting me every step of the way—connecting me with amazing people and opportunities, attending my events, helping me secure a scholarship, and cheering me on. My grad school experience was profoundly shaped by her presence, and she remains my greatest mentor and supporter as I continue to navigate toward new goals—through all cycles: the setbacks, the resets and the wins.
I chose not to simply attend class and go home during grad school. That would have been too easy. When I had the opportunity to learn from someone who had achieved remarkable things I aspired to, I introduced myself—and it changed my life.
How Do I Navigate My Emotions?
One of my favorite illustration books is The Boy, the Mole, the Fox, and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy. There’s a line that resonates deeply with me:
“What’s the bravest thing you ever said?” asked the boy. “Help,” said the horse.
I choose to keep it personal, but I’ve experienced events and challenges in my life that most people would never see in their lifetime. At one point, I couldn’t hold it together anymore and realized I needed help. The honest, hard work of studying yourself deeply is one of the toughest things anyone can do. No masters or doctorate program can even come close, and I chose to take this study head on.
I reached out to a university psychology department that offered therapy on a sliding fee and was paired with an incredible therapist. She already had an impressive background, and after she graduated, I followed her to her private practice. With my therapist’s unwavering support we dove into processing my life’s challenges and understanding how my mind works through our psychotherapy work together, more specifically intensive psychoanalysis work—because, when I commit to something, I go all in. (Interestingly, many well-known designers and podcasters I follow do this analysis work too. Therapy is more common than you may think).
I’ve worked with my therapist for many years now, and the value of having this relationship and therapeutic support throughout your life is hard to explain unless you’ve experienced it. But it’s only valuable if you’re willing to put in the difficult work. (by the way, I wrote a simple book about my therapy experience).
There are conversations in therapy I’ll never share with anyone else, and the growth I’ve experienced and gratitude I feel is immeasurable. This incredible journey happened because I pushed aside the societal stereotypes and potential judgement of others, and I chose to seek help on my own doing—and it changed my life.
Can You Give Me a Chance?
I could go through countless more examples and list many more people who have shaped my life, but I’ll end with one more story. When I was searching for a school to pursue my masters I wanted nothing more than to attend the University of Michigan. I fell in love with Ann Arbor, the campus and the high bar that the academics expected of their students. I was also a huge football fan since I was young (go blue!).
I had a fear though that I wouldn’t get accepted because I had to take the GRE exam. I am not a good test taker when it came to these types of exams. I took the ACT twice and did terrible, so I wasn’t optimistic. I was frustrated that a test like this wouldn’t represent my ability to be a successful student.
Studying for the GRE was torturous, and I wasn’t clicking with the material. I took the exam, and on submit I was immediately informed of my nearly failing test score. When I filled out paperwork at the testing center upon my leaving I messed up the writing of my address and asked for a new paper copy. The admin said sarcastically, “You don’t even know how to write your own address?” and sighed. I was devastated.
I cried all day until someone said to me “Don’t take no for an answer. Show that admissions committee that you can be a success at their school.”
I was immediately inspired and put on my brainstorming hat. I stayed up all night putting together a personalized book speaking directly to admissions, showcasing my knowledge and skills; and I pitched the reasons why they should accept me into their grad program. I set up a meeting with someone from admissions, dressed in my best, and presented my book that I got printed and bound to look real sharp 👌.
I got accepted into the grad program. In addition, I was hired to do a project for their marketing department the next day. Years after graduation I was highlighted in a profile article and was asked to be a judge at my school’s student exhibition. And by the way, I got straight A’s at this globally recognized school, so take that GRE!
I saw failure until I saw an opportunity. I simply asked the school to give me a chance. This experience gave me more push to succeed at the school, and it was life-transformative.
“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.”
Brené Brown
Whenever I feel like giving up I think about these moments and am reminded of the power in reaching out—the slight decision that can make a huge life shift. And so I reach out to my mentors when I need guidance. I reach out to my friends when I need support. I go to therapy to process my thoughts and feelings. And I go the extra mile when I want to achieve something I really want.
This article sharing is extremely important to me because I so want others to experience positive, life-changing interactions like the one’s I’ve had in my life and continue to make. I encourage you to reflect on your own life and remember the people who helped shape it.
I also encourage you to dig deep and find the courage to reach out to others so you can learn, grow and achieve great things that will last a lifetime. Be specific about what you’re wanting to achieve: is it personal or professional goals, confidence, skills, insights…? Sometimes you have to be vulnerable and honestly admit that you need help in areas. Then you need to be brave and ask for it. That’s where growth starts.
It’s very important to note that I’m not talking about “networking” in this article. This isn’t about “who do you know” type of connections. In my examples I wasn’t networking; I was seeking—Big difference.
I was seeking people and goals that inspire me greatly. I’m talking about building relationships that are truly authentic, meaningful, deeply impactful and long-lasting. I wish these relationships for you.
Who can you reach out to today?
